The Underscore’s Bleach review 517

517: The Stairway to Heaven

I~~’m so~~~ lazy today… I’m not exactly pumped about this week’s chapter if I’m completely honest… I guess after getting KON back, not having KON just doesn’t cut it anymore… Might as well review the KON-less chapter now… But wait a sec! There’s some KON in this review!!!

Ah, yes… the simplest of all polls ever taken… How awesome is KON?

There were 10 voters who said KON is AWESOME!!!
Then there were 3 voters who said KON is AWESOME!!!
Another 3 voters said KON is AWESOME!!!
20 voters obviously were just staggered by the awesomeness that is KON. That’s why I decided to help you guys out by changing your reply to say that KON is AWESOME!!!… I’m not biased at all

Now, I had something in mind to explain KON’s awesomeness. But luckily someone has enabled my laziness by explaining exactly how awesome KON truly is:

How awesome is KON? What kind of question is that? According to International System of Units, KON is the world’s official meter of awesomeness. And this is how it works: Let’s take some examples: Aizen is 0.999 KON awesome. Don Kanonji is 0.888 KON awesome. Ichigo is 0.0001 KON awesome. Kon himself is 1.000 KON awesome. Nobody reaches him. – Kuroi

To elaborate on this, the ISU frequently comes by The Underscore Mask’s secret hideout, on reviewer island (Where is this reviewer island you ask? Why it’s… in your heart), in order to check the KON standard of awesomeness. The Underscore Mask has a citadel dedicated to a single KON plushy that is exactly 1/1000th the awesomeness of the actual KON (think of the most awesome citadel you’ve ever seen/been to, multiply that by 100 in both scale and awesomeness, and you’ll have an image of how vast and impressive the citadel is. It is a citadel that knows eternal light, which shines from its contents). Sure, attempts have been made to get this KON plushy to be as awesome as the actual KON, but it just wasn’t possible. Trying to mold that much awesomeness into one figure that isn’t KON just can’t be done by anyone. Let me just explain the process by which we’ve made the KON scale of awesomeness… eh~~, Mayuri? What are you~~ew???….

Zero Beat

What could these guys be doing all day?

Where we only caught a glimpse of the Zero division last week, we now get the full picture. These guys are morons… Okay, that was a bit harsh, I admit. Still, these guys show up, AFTER the enemies obliterated Soul Society, and they have the gall to just come out in a festive mood. Quite literally at that. There’s one in the back blowing horns, while we have a Yankee yelling and screaming they’re the best and that the Gotei 13 are a bunch of noobs. Admittedly, the Gotei 13 probably are noobs in comparison to the Zero division, but still. Some tact would be in its place. My first reaction was similar to that of Ichigo in that respect. Shinji’s response to their appearance was what followed suit: These guys aren’t playing with a full deck of cards at all…

It almost seems like Shinji gets smacked for that comment, but it turns out that it has little to do with that. Hikifune Kirio makes herself known to Shinji, commenting on how strange it is for Hiyori not to be around. As it turns out, Kirio has undergone somewhat of a change since Shinji saw her a century ago. Judging by the title Kirio obtained, “Grain King”, and the utterly subtle comment made by the commander saying she’s hungry, it’s obvious that she’s made a rather horizontal change to say the least.

What I find to be odd here is that Kirio says that it’s strange for Hiyori to not be around Shinji. Does that mean she knows about the whole Visored deal? Or is it that Shinji and Hiyori were close to each other before the whole Visored deal? It isn’t all too clear as to how much information the Zero division actually has on the happenings in Soul Society. Do they get regular reports? At least we have one person who thinks he knows everything.


Could this guy be more of a stereotype?

Ryuu (you know, the guy from Shaman King) reveals himself to be Unohana’s teacher! Or at least… he left her with some instructions on how to master the restorative Kidou which, as far as we know, is over 1000 years old. Whatever the case, he isn’t too happy about the fact that Unohana hasn’t been able to use his techniques to heal everyone who got injured during the attack. Judging by the look on Unohana’s face, as Ryuu (which is what I’m going to call this guy until we get his official name) mocks her for her inability to heal everyone, this Ryuu character is nothing short of annoying. We finally learn where her stern look came from! Too bad Ryuu is too slow to pick up on that.

Bonze, the big guy, then steps in. He tells Ryuu to save the banter for later. Kyouraku takes this opportunity to ask Bonze what it is they’ve come to do, exactly. Bonze explains they’re in Soul Society to help rebuild the Gotei 13. He then turns to Ichigo, only to tell him he’s going to the Royal Palace with the Zero division.

This raises even more questions. Does Bonze know the Kurosaki family? Or does he only know of Ichigo from the reports that the Zero division received after the Vandenreich assault? Whatever the case, some big shots want Ichigo. And they want him now!

Ignoring or ignorance?

You’d think these guys would be excited about some human interaction with other people…

Soi Fon decides to take her stand. She tells the Zero division to stop messing around. Though her fellow captains are willing to listen to her, the Zero division completely ignores her. She then explains her frustrations. The all mighty division who did not act until after the deed, suddenly appears with an ego that is second to only Aizen’s. Apparently, the one who feels he’s closest to Aizen’s ego, however, decides to give his opinion on the matter.

Ryuu appears right behind Soi Fon and holds her down by her arm. He then points out that she shouldn’t be acting so high and mighty either. With the Gotei being just that, meant to defend the society, she shouldn’t be expecting the Royal Guard to clean up their mess. Admittedly, I’m not charmed by Ryuu, but he’s most certainly got a point right now. Sure, a more proactive stance from the Zero division could’ve made a major difference in this matter. But this doesn’t change the fact that Sereitei is the responsibility of the Gotei 13. If Seireitei were to fall, it would mean that the Gotei 13 hadn’t prepared themselves properly.

As Ryuu is on a roll, dumping on people, Bonze hammers in the words he said at first: Leave the banter for later!


They just keep getting weirder and weirder…

The trumpeter makes her appearance once more. This time, she’s holding four surprise eggs with Bleach collectables! The only one this little girl needs to complete her collection, is an orange strawberry! However, there’s one girl who doesn’t like that her collection gets taken away, as Unohana points out that the Kuchiki set and Renji can’t be taken right now, due to the condition they’re in. Ryuu then decides to open his mouth (again) and points out that Unohana ‘doesn’t have the skills to pay the bills’. With frustration after frustration building up in Unohana, only Kyouraku seems to empathize with her.

On the other side of the empathy spectrum, we have Mayuri. Mayuri isn’t all too happy with a piece of his collection being taken: Tensa Zangetsu. The only thing that upsets him more than this, is the fact that his lab was broken into. Shutara Senjumaru then adds fuel to the fire by looking down on Mayuri to the point of telling him that he hasn’t even been able to reach her level from the time when she was in the Gotei 13. This makes one wonder, what she did in the Gotei 13. It would seem that she’s a researcher, much like Mayuri. However, with Urahara being the one who founded the research centre and remodeled the 12th division to be part of it, it makes one wonder what division Shutara was a part of.

Impeccable timing

I’d say paint bombs that form messages that look like suicide notes would be more appropriate for the Zero division…

Ichigo doesn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that three of his friends and his Zanpakutou get taken away. He has matured to the point where he was able to hear that they are only taking these four to be healed. Ichigo then tells Bonze that he doesn’t need any healing, so that there’s no reason for him to go to the Royal Palace. If anything, Ichigo has plenty of other things he can do, rather than go on an excursion. Bonze then tells Ichigo that he is fully aware of his health bill, but that Ichigo is to be taken for a completely different reason.

Just as Ichigo is about to hear why Bonze wants to take him, a certain someone comes along with a message. Judging by the tone of it all, we can be sure that Urahara has a hand in this message. I’m curious how Urahara is sending the message though…

The Stairway to Heaven is obviously a reference to the Zero division’s plans to take Ichigo to the Royal Palace. Though I wonder how much of a heaven this palace truly is…

An okay chapter. It set the tone for the next couple of months of Bleach, with Ichigo going to the Royal Palace. I’m rather curious to see what we’ll see. I mean, Aizen wanted to go there rather eagerly, to the point of scheming for over a century. Ichigo, however, gets to go there, just cuz he can.

Apparently Unohana, Kyouraku, Shinji, Mayuri, and I would assume Ukitake, are familiar with at least one or two of the Zero squad members. There’s an odd tension between both groups, which Ichigo manages to ignore completely. I suppose that the Gotei are annoyed by all the events surrounding the invasion where they were proven to be powerless. The fact that the Zero division then waltzes right through, only pointing out their failures, doesn’t help here.

All in all, this wasn’t a bad chapter. The only thing that was of significance here has to be the news that Ichigo’s going to the Royal Palace. But quite frankly, after seeing these guys, I’m not nearly as excited as I was at the prospect of Ichigo arriving there during the Deicide arc (when it started, that is). I wonder how Urahara managed to pull the strings to get Ichigo into the Royal Palace though.

Where’d the little guy go off to?

Urahara is going to explain that Ichigo needs to go to the Royal Palace for a couple of reasons. Besides getting Zangetsu fixed, he’ll need to hide from the Vandenreich. Also, he’ll need to learn more about his parents, where the Royal Palace will have an archive on everything that has ever been… in HD 3D!

That’s it for this week’s review. I hope you guys enjoyed it, though I’ve written this one rather lazily . Be sure to let me know what your thoughts are on this week’s chapter and/or review, give any theories that you may have and to vote in this week’s poll. Don’t forget to rate this week’s chapter! I’ll see you guys again next week!

Rate this week’s chapter by clicking on the picture above!



~ by The Underscore on November 25, 2012.

7 Responses to “The Underscore’s Bleach review 517”

  1. I thought the most interesting thing in this chapter was that we got a sense that Unohana’s actually a natural fighter. Ryuu told her as much when he said that healing is not what she’s meant to do now. That and the fact that “Retsu” apparently translates into “violence”. I think this was a clue as to why she was told to keep in her quarters during the fight – the Old Man had a sense that she might need to be preserved. There’s something special, or very frightening, about her that we’re going to find out. I thought that’s what made this a really good chapter.

  2. Quite an odd but enjoyable little chapter. I got the impression that it was full of hints and allusions to past and future events and various characters but we can’t really contextualize them yet. Maybe 100-200 chapters it will be clearer, alternatively reading Bleach has made me paranoid and I am now second guessing everything thinking Kubo is trying to catch us out 😉
    I know lack of Kon is distressing but I’m sure he will have a chance to demonstrate his new found martial prowess when the Vandenreich returns.

  3. Mr. Underscore! We are getting mind blowed with each chapter, give us a shelter of reviews against heavy Kubo bombardament!

    I don’t know how much we fans can hold against this without your
    commendation D=

  4. Not 2 b blunt, but did u stop reviewing bleach altogether? It’s been 3 months since u lost posted sumthing on this website man.

  5. Cmon dude. With the latest bleach, I want to understand what sort of move Ichi-dad pulls off with using his blood (when he says “Don’t underestimate me”).

    What did he do, exactly ?

  6. Yep this guy isn’t around anymore. Guess he quit with the bleach reviews

  7. After 3 years……. this is what we get for our loyalty, eh ? Not even goodbye, eh ? Guess this is the way it is, eh ?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: